Here are some things my friends DON’T say:

“I think I’m getting too thin.”

“I’m not sure the guy charged me enough for that repair.”

“I can’t wait to go see my in-laws this weekend.”

So you can imagine my joy this past weekend, finding myself at a fancy restaurant with the in-laws and it took them, no joke, two-and-a-half hours to serve our meal. You are assuming, I know, that the place was hopping busy. It wasn’t. It was in Oregon, so I thought perhaps expectations were different there. My mother-in-law assured me they are not, she was likewise extremely disappointed.

To just address the in-law part for a minute. Mine are kind, considerate and elderly. My mother-in-law, however, has no problem speaking what is on her mind, at length, and with passion. I usually refer to my in-laws as my out-laws, not because they are bad people, after all, I love their son. But I didn’t grow up with that family, so I will never quite “fit in.” That just seems to be how it works for most of us married folks.

So, back to the restaurant story. We had the nicest waitress that was witty, playful, smiling, accommodating (except for the slowness of the food), and even managed to talk us into desert with a smile after we felt like we had been there for half a day and Mom’s oxygen was running out. We were all so disappointed in the service, but happy with our waitress. Even Mom couldn’t get mad at her. She just kept grabbing the waitress and telling her what to tell the cook (yes, at length and with passion). And the waitress would smile, say something funny, make us smile, and carry on with her responsibilities.

There are so many lessons here. The food was fantastic, but so horribly slow that none of us want to go back. We loved the waitress. A great feeling from a caring point-of-contact makes up for a lack-of-service to some degree. And yet, us customers expressed our frustration over and over. What would have made it better? An explanation. From the cook (that is who we perceive as “in charge.”) Perhaps that amount of time was important for him to create individual dishes to absolute perfection. And they were perfect. Or perhaps the assistant chef didn’t show that night, and one guy was working his tail off to make it happen. These are understandable reasons that could help us in making a decision to come back. In fact, that extra step would have gone a long way satisfying an expensive table of seven. But without explanation, failing to address our complaint (even though we weren’t rude about it) led us to the decision that we won’t be back, even though they treated us with a smile.

Bad service will happen. How will you address it? Do you have mechanisms in place to make sure you “hear” the problem so you have the opportunity to face it? Even if you can’t fix it in the moment, ignoring problems doesn’t make the problem go away, it makes the consumer go away.